Thursday, August 1, 2013

The World is a Beautiful Place & I am No Longer Afraid to Die

Okay.

The paper work I was expecting has come in literally one day before it would have been a very serious problem. I can’t even write about how stressful all of that was. That is a good thing considering the worst is (relatively) out of the way. Now all I have to do is get my Visa on Monday/Tuesday and from there all I have to do is pack.
I am still numb to the idea that I will be leaving the country for an entire year. I will miss weddings and births. I will miss the Southern California winter. I will miss the storms tossing absurdly big waves against the Newport pier. Even as I write that, I don’t think of it as being a big deal but rationally I know it is going to be hard. That has always been something of a problem for me- not fearing/worrying/feeling anything about something that will hurt.

“Hey Kyle we are still on for tattooing your chest tomorrow, yeah?”
“Hey, lets go get our septums pierced after you get off of work.”
“Hey, I like you a lot and I am happy we are dating, but you know I am moving away right?”

None of these things bother me in the planning phase but when the time comes, I always handle the pain like a 7 year old girl.

Now I know leaving on this adventure won’t necessarily be painful, but it will be intense and I will miss a lot of things. I guess the word I mean is “difficult” I am underestimating and pushing aside the thought of how “difficult” much of this will be. I might be just a laid back kind of guy or I might have some kind of disorder that makes me not worry about that part of things, but that is the phase I am in right now. “The welp, I guess I am going to Korea for a year” phase.

Also I have been trying to take more control over my life and personal/controllable destiny.

More on that later.


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